"Look at me, I'm in a place, I never thought I'd be... I've been in love many times before, but this time's not the same, I've always been the first to say goodbye, now it's the last thing I can do..." ~ Deana Carter, "What Makes You Stay"
Like I said, it's not all about sex, but tonight Sam obviously feels no need for preliminaries... and who am I to argue? She rids herself of her jacket, and me of my shirt, and grasping, clutching, we shuffle out of the entryway like a 4-legged creature.Narrowly avoiding the coffee table, I survey our surroundings. Looks good. Putting some of that military training to good use, I grab Sam around the waist and then brush her feet right out from under her, executing a controlled fall to the carpeted floor. Sam laughs as we tumble, and I brace myself with my arms so I don't crush her with my weight, freeing one hand to unbutton her jeans.
And then she shocks me by shimming out of my clutches. I gape as she backpedals across the rug, kicking off her shoes and grinning wickedly. A-ha. Well, two can play this game, Major... I narrow my eyes as I lurch after her.
She's quicker, but not by much. I grab her ankles... well, that works too. I latch onto her pant cuffs and yank. Great! Not only does it pull her towards me, it pulls that irritating article of clothing half-off. Running my hands up jeans-covered calves and then bare thighs, I'm back on top. Sam's biting her bottom lip and trying to unbutton her shirt. "Allow me," I offer.
"So chivalrous," she notes breathlessly.
She holds her upper body off the ground as she shrugs off the blouse, crushing herself against me, but I don't mind. "You're still wearing pants," she informs me, matter-of-factly.
"So sue me."
Rrriiinnngggg!!!
"Shit." It's the phone.
"Let the machine get it."
"Machine's broken."
Rrriiinnngggg!!!
"Don't worry about it."
"What if it's the base?"
"Then they would have called your cell phone."
Sam flings my pants out of reach.
Rrriiinnngggg!!!
I groan. "Sam..."
She sighs. "Fine."
"Thanks." I scramble to my feet.
"Hurry up, though. I'm naked here."
Rrriiinnngggg!!!
"Yeah, I'd kinda noticed that."
I answer on the fifth ring. "'Ello?"
My eyes go wide. "Uh, hi Rick."
Sam rockets into a sitting position.
Thank God videophones are impractical.
"How're you doing, Jack?"
"Oh, fine. Fine."
"That's great. Hey, have you seen Sam?"
"Sam?"
"Yeah... we got home early because she wasn't feeling well, and I had to go to the office... I called her to see if she wanted me to pick up some dinner, but she's not there. I thought she might be at Doctor Fraiser's but I got the number from my cousin Rae, and she isn't there. Is she over there?"
Well, I think. There's two ways to handle this. I can say "No", leaving Sam to come up with another excuse. Or... "Yeah, she is."
Sam, holding her blouse against her chest, leaps to her feet, eyes angry.
"She is?"
"Yeah... she called about an hour ago just to check with me, and I've got some stuff from one of her labs she wanted to see, so she drove over." She relaxes. "Yeah, you're right, she doesn't look well... no... uh-huh..."
"Does she want me to pick up something?"
I work my jaw.
"Actually, Rick, we were going to head on over to the lab... Sam's seeing some numbers here that she doesn't like. Janet might still be at the infirmary; she can check her out."
"Oh... okay. Hey, I know I've asked before, but is there ANY number I can reach her at there?"
There is - a long number - but the last thing we want is for him to go checking up on us. "Sorry."
"That's okay. Tell Sammie hi for me."
"Will do... bye."
I hang up the phone, turn, and realize that Sam's standing next to me, her eyes closed. I sigh, and put my arms around her. She rests her head on my chest, and it's then that I realize she's in tears.
"I can't do this any more," she sobs, voice cracking. "Dammit... I... love him... but I love you..."
She shivers. I dart back to the couch, grab the afghan, and return, wrapping it around her shoulders. She leans against me.
"When I'm with you, I know I'm... cheating on him."
My blood runs cold. This is what I'm afraid of. This is what I try to forget the nights we're together. Her making a choice. Her choosing the right man. Her not choosing me. Why chose me? What can I possibly offer?
And what about the fact that she already chose him, months ago?
"But," she goes on. "When I'm with him... I feel like I'm betraying you."
I look down. She looks up.
"Do you want to go home?" I ask quietly.
She shakes her head. "I want to spend the night."
The End