He passed.
A strange warmth steals over me as I stand in the doorway, not just because of what I see in front of me but because of what I discovered today.
I got confirmation of many things: the amazing adaptability of my people in even the most bizarre of situations, their strength and stamina, their deep and abiding affection for each other. That was nothing new. Neither was the torment in Jack's eyes from the second Carter touched the mainframe controls to the moment she drew a breath with her own two lungs. I'd seen evidence of all these things before. None of it came as a surprise.
However, I'm surprised at what I discovered, because what I discovered was that I was wrong.
Ever since the Zay'tarc incident, doubts had plagued my thoughts about SG-1. The entire team was far too close, but in my mind, O'Neill and Carter were close for the wrong reasons. That wasn't to say I didn't empathize, that I didn't understand, but I couldn't let those personal feelings affect me when I put on my uniform. The irony wasn't lost on me; I understood that in order to effectively save humanity, we had to set our own human emotions aside.
In the case of SG-1, friendship was a constant and, frankly, necessary. Not a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination. But feelings... romantic feelings... love... that was messy. That had led to many a court martial, many a ruined career and ruined life. It wasn't that I didn't want my people to be happy. It was just that I couldn't see any short-term happiness being worth it in the long run.
And there were risks. O'Neill had refused to leave Carter on 757, after all. Daniel and Teal'c theoretically could have suffered because of that. Could I really keep things as they were and chance that they might find themselves in that same situation? That Jack would find his feelings for Carter interfering with the objectives of his mission... and choose her? The very notion of those risks had haunted me day and night, and a steady record of successful missions since the Zay'tarc fiasco didn't help me sleep any easier. It could happen. At any time, it could happen. I would be proved right; something would go wrong. Someone could die.
But then it happened. Today it happened. And I was proved wrong.
When it had come down to it, the Entity - as SG-1 and Janet had so careful described it - had also been wrong. Wrong in hiding out in Sam Carter because it thought she would be safe harbor, wrong in thinking Jack wouldn't jump on the first ultimatum he could make. The very fact that it had been Carter in this situation had made him only more prone to extremes. No walker-on-eggshells was he. No diplomat. He lived by his instincts and his conscience and looked to them for a speedy resolution. And he had pegged the Entity perfectly.
I was wrong, and I've never been happier about that then I am right now. When the challenge came, when the threat came, Jack didn't back down. Not even when the challenge was coming from the woman he loved. Not when the only way to stop her was to kill her. He knew there was more at stake then the life of this one person, no matter how special she might be to him, and despite personal hatred and heartache he did it. He pulled the trigger. He passed the test. He stepped up and he proved me wrong.
One of my best officers was ready and willing to kill another... and I'm pleased beyond words.
Those same two best officers are fast asleep - one in an infirmary bed, and the other close by, sitting in a molded chair, his head resting in her lap - and there's a strange warmth stealing over me.
I stand there in the doorway, finally realizing that I won't be noticed... and maybe that's for the best. Carter needs her rest, after all, and Jack... Jack needs Carter.
The End