I've been sitting
here all night,
wondering how to say goodbye to you.
Wondering how to reconcile what I did
with what I needed to do,
and wondering if there was any other way.
I've been sitting
here because I don't know where else to go.
I don't know what else to do.
And even though there's no real hope,
and no reason to keep hoping,
leaving your side is impossible.
I've been sitting
here and I've been waiting for a miracle.
Not for the Tok'ra or the Asgard.
Just an Honest To God Miracle.
I can't believe we've used up our quota of luck.
There's irony... and then there's unfairness.
Not you, Carter.
Not you, Sam.
It's not your time,
not yet,
and it's not fair.
So I've been sitting
here all night,
just like I sat for hours in the hospital after Charlie-- after Charlie.
Alone,
but alone because I want to be.
And not alone because I can still pretend that you're still here.
It'll be hell
to lose you.
I knew that... even before I knew... more.
But to have to live with the knowledge,
the horrible knowledge that I'M the reason you're gone,
pushes me into a dark, dank place past emotion.
It's horrifying in its familiarity.
So clearly there's
only one course of action left to me:
I deny that your body is just an empty vessel,
and I pray for a miracle like I haven't in years.
I'll be sitting here until you come back to us, Sam,
even if I'm here all night.
The End